Why do I care?

There is a simple question - why do I "care" about my weight?

Is it pure vanity? or is it something more?

Perhaps it is both.

One catalyst for this surge of interest is my upcoming wedding on September 30th! First, I ordered the dress 2 sizes smaller than I am right now - talk about motivation! I want to recognise myself in the pictures!

Second, I am going to feel like "me" again - I look in the mirror, and I stare back at this woman I don't recognise. She is a complete stranger - and much bigger then I am! I don't feel like "me" inside this body. I feel lost under the fat.

Third, health - I'm pear shaped, out of shape and just prime for heart disease, stroke etc... Why would I want to drop dead in my 40's when I can live to my 80's? 95% of disease is preventable with diet and exersize. I can see what is going to happen - I'm no different then anybody else - if I continue to be overweight I'll die of heart disease, sooner rather than later. In addition, infertility is caused by obesity. I want to be a Mom. How sad would it be that I injury my chances of experiencing the greatest joy in life for a piece of cake! I also want to be a Mom who has energy - and not wanting to nap all the time!

Still, I've known the risks for the last 2 years, why do I care now? I think I'm getting fed up with me finally. Done with being tired. Done with the cravings. Done with the addiction.
Everytime I eat something with sugar, bread, baked good I hear my inner self saying "What the Hell are you doing?" - even as I eat it, I am consciously aware of the damage I am doing to myself. I feel the urge to eat (I figure the same urge alcoholics feel to drink) - it seems bigger then me - and it's time for me to say "no thankyou" and realize that food does not make me happy. The "high" I get from raised seretonine levels is temporary. Not a long term deal. Not worth it in the long run.

That's why I care now!