Friday - on Holidays

Well it's Friday - This is my third day off work - it's going too fast!

Today the scale said 199.5lbs - MY FIRST "1" which is amazing in itself.

I've slowly started to introduce bread back into my diet in small quantities. I'm hesitating with pasta as I know how easy it is for me to over do the pasta once I start.

It's been a conscious journey of choices. Going out and choosing salad with dressing on the side. The other day when we went out for dinner there was escargo in butter with cheese on the menu - I love escargo! Instead I choose the shrimp cocktail to start. It was low in fat, low in calories and still tasted good. But the escargo looked amazing! I then had a salad with a piece of grilled chicken on top. All about making better choices and realizing that satisfying the craving for butter would cost me more than it was worth. Each bite adds up.

I don't know why I am more motivated now then I was 6 months ago. Even a year ago I swore to control myself and get the weight off. I just could not break through the wall until this spring.
I wander what it is, inside of me that changed. It's like an internal switch went off and I am able to say "no" to high caloried, high fat, high sugared food and make better choices with what I eat. Before the cravings won. I'd just have a small taste, or I'd decide I'm celebrating, so I need to have it.

With the wedding showers I was okay with tasting the icing of the cake they made us with my fingers and not eating a piece of cake. It felt liberating to say "no" and know I could prioritize my health and wellbeing over food, even food that was celebrating "me".

I got a much more satisfied feeling inside by staying healthy then I would have if I gave in and ate the cake out of celebration. I felt "happier" with me and my choice.

Now, each day is adding up. Each choice, each mouthful of good food has a "1" in front of my weight again. In 15 pounds 99% of my old wardrobe will fit. in 20lbs 100% of my wardrobe will fit. It feels so good to be closer to fitting then not fitting!

I'm not concerned about not recognizing myself in my own wedding pictures
I'm not concerned about the dress
I'm not as concerned about my health (though it will be another 15 pounds before I move from an "Obese" Body Mass Index (BMI) to an "overweight" BMI)

We will be off to the cottage until Monday night. I will see you on this blog next Tuesday morning when it's "Back to work" time.

Namaste
B.