Happy Holidays

Well, I'm now 214lbs and 14 weeks and 3 days pregnant (according to the Ultrasound) - The due date is June 26th.

I know deep in my heart that gaining 23lbs since September 30th is because I am eating too much - I'm completely out of control with sugar and carbs. The only saving grace is that I look pregnant not "fat" - though loosing the weight is going to be frustrating again in June. I can't see myself gaining control while I"m pregnant - I've given up even trying.

We did have a good Christmas this year. We had 4 Turkey Dinners in a row - so we are Turkeyed out! We will have to remember to request alternative dinners next year! We had Turkey on Monday night here with Chris's family - We then had Turkey on Tuesday night with my family, left over Turkey with my family on Wednesday night - then Turkey dinner on Thursday night with Chris's grandparents - Tonight we went out for Steak - NO MORE TURKEY! I won't want to see Turkey for at least a couple of months!

We got a new digital camera for Xmas - getting ready to take the baby pictures in June! We've spent most of our days between Christmas and New Years with Friends and Family - Today was the first day in 7 days we didn't have any plans (we were suppose to visit friends - but they were not available in the end) - Tomorrow we are out with Friends and New Years Eve we have friends visiting us here. Going back to work on Tuesday! Though I'm going to miss my daily naps in the afternoon - I find I'm tired and need a nap by 2pm!

Namaste
B

Where did I go?

Hello Everybody

You may have noticed that the blogging "stoped" for a while. I had a very good reason! This blog was started to help me loose weight. And I did a good job of loosing weight - I even got down to 190 lbs.

Since the wedding I've been gaining weight - (lots of weight) - and it has been frustrating. The reason I'm not able to diet though is that I am pregnant!

I first gained 8lbs over the honeymoon - I didn't worry about food - I just had a great time.

Then I found out I was pregnant about 2 weeks after the honeymoon. So dieting idea was gone! Now I find I'm eating out of nerves again - and trying to get more calcium etc.. in my diet has increased the calories too. Drinking orange juice and milk products which are high in fat and calories - I've gone through times where I can't seem to get full - and other days were food turns me off. Chris is very kind to me and has told me not to worry about my weight - that it came off before, and it will come off again. I'm already up to 208lbs (which is 10 lbs since the honeymoon weight).

I am excited about being pregnant - I'll be 39 when the child is born. I don't like to look at my face in the mirror again - as I've balloned up my face is gone. I am frustrated with my lack of control, I'm eating everything in sight and no matter what I tell myself I can't seem to get the cravings to stop or me to stop - I hate feeling like this about food again. I am kicking myself for gaining the weight over the honeymoon - why can't I just stay away from food that puts on the pounds? Why am I so weak after having so much success? I should be thrilled about all the changes in my body - but I'm angry at me for eating - and I won't start dieting as I won't hurt the baby - but I'm still a mess about my self image and I know that I'm going to have to take off 60 pounds next summer instead of 40 to get back to me again and that sucks! I feel like I'm on a run-away train that I can't stop and I'm heading right back to the wall.

People are not very nice either - one person said I should only gain 15lbs through my pregnancy and read me the riot act for having no will power - someone else said don't listen to those people, every person is different some gain 25-50 lbs - It's not a reflection of will power - My OBGYN is telling me not to worry about it and enjoy the pregnancy. But there are so many of those "people" giving me advice about my wieght gain - every where I turn I get critisim - and because they THINK they are helpful giving me their worldly advice as they have had a child and I'm the niave first timer - that they are doing me some sort of service by comparing "me" to "them" .

God help me when the baby is born - I think I'm going to have books and advice thrown at Chris and I like there is no tomorrow - I'm going to have to take a step back and say "thanks-but-no-thanks" to get these well meaning people who impose their thoughts with being asked to back off!

Sorry, I'm feeling a bit "grumpy" about the whole thing today

Overall I really am thrilled about being a Mom

Namaste
B