July 2nd 2007 - starting the weight loss all over again plus some!

Well here I am
I had a baby and gained 63lbs
I am now 253lbs - largest weight I've ever seen
I'm disappointed in myself for not maintaining control while I was pregnant
The last 11 weeks were the hardest - as my blood pressure went up and I was ordered to "bed rest" at home - no walking, no vacuuming, no exertion - and lots of time to think and eat out of boredom.

I did not resist any cravings during my pregnancy - I ate all the burgers, chocolate, desserts etc.. I ate through my emotions of being pregnant.

Now here I am, 63lbs heaver - I did it to myself again! When will I learn?

I have the tools to correct this
1. Eat well
2. Exercise
3. Meditate
4. Sleep (well sleep may be difficult with a new born!)

I'm frustrated and disappointed in myself and I sure don't want any pictures of me taken these days - and there seems to be camera's everywhere with the new baby.

I don't want people to see me at this weight - I know what they say "She gained a lot of weight during her pregnancy" - Each time I've run into someone in the last two weeks post pregnancy my heart sinks as I know what I look like and it breaks my heart to not be me anymore in body.

Namaste
B