Chart

Wednesday Weigh in 221.5 lbs

Today I saw 221.5 lbs which actually surprised me. Yesterday I had an exam, and I ended up binge eating. I stuck to my good foods (no flour, no sugar, no white starch) - but volume wise, I was eating to calm my nerves for my exam.

I started out with a 2 egg omelet instead of my 1 egg omelet with a yogurt.

I then had a papaya, and another yogurt

I then had two low fat chicken burgers with low fat mayo (no bread)

I then had a handfull of blueberries.

Then I wrote my exam

Came back and had a skew of chicken and veggies from the BBQ and sauteed mushrooms at 8:30pm at night (so I ate late as I was out of the house until late).

I seemed to have a need yesterday to stuff down the nerves with food. I also was worried that I'd have low blood sugar during the exam and that would affect my ability to use my brain.

The CEBS exam went as well as any CEBS exam does (they have a lot of tricky worded questions with double negatives that mean a positive to trip you up; anybody who writes a CEBS exam will back me up and say they are not straight forward, and you can get questions wrong in subjects you know well because of the wording of the questions, it's like they are playing some cruel mind game with you and not testing your knowlege but your ability to know the subject and do word puzzles).

I'll find out in June how I did. I think I passed (A pass is 70%). I hope so, as I get a pay raise after I pass this exam! I studied for 4 days straight!

Today's goal is to get out for my walk (if it does not rain) - even if it does rain - I can go to the mall and walk around the mall a few times! (no excuses). My second goal is not to binge on any food today. Keep it real!

Namaste
B.

Tuesday Exam Day

Hello It is Tuesday - Exam day. My exam is at 3:30pm - so this is the final study session (It is shortly after 7am right now).

Today the scales said 222lbs. I'm now back to Saturday mornings weight.

I'm keeping this blog short today, as I'm going to go study now!

Namaste

B.

Monday Monday

It's Monday, and I'm home today studying for an exam that I am taking tomorrow (Tuesday) towards my CEBS certification.

Today I weighed 222lbs - 222.5lbs (the scale went back and forth evenly each time I stepped on it).

Slowly undoing the damage of Saturday's eating.

It is a beautiful summer day out there today. It's currently 26C out there - we are going to reach a high of 30C. My favourite weather. As I'm studying, I've decided to take "walking" breaks. Every few hours get up and go for a walk, clear my mind, then get back to the books.

I'm feeling fairly confident about the material as it is something I do each day at work. Most of the material is the same information I reviewed for my works benefit booklet and LTD, EAP and Benefit Contract over the last year.

I hope you are all enjoying this great day (if you are in Ontario Canada)

Namaste
B.

Weekend

Yesterday (Saturday) I felt sooo good about myself. I had hit 222lbs on the scale. I put on some clothes and felt good about how they fit. I was feeling great about the weight loss.

Then the rest of the day unfolded.

I had my normal one egg and Yogurt for breakfast. We left the house around 10:30am to go shopping for a patio set.

We went everywhere comparing prices. By 2pm we were still out, and needed lunch. I had a salad with chicken and balsamic dressing. The thing is, I don't know how many hidden calories where in this salad. I felt satisfied after eating it - which tells me that there were probably more calories then I suspected.

For dinner we had company. We got home at 5pm and did a whirl wind clean of the house. Vacuumed, bathroom, swept, mopped the kitchen floor. Within half an hour we got the house looking "decent". Then our guests arrived. They were brining burgers. To make sure I didn't get tempted by high fat burgers I bought a skew of chicken to BBQ. I had the chicken. Again more calories in the BBQ sauce. As I didn't want to get into chips and temptations while people where watching the game, I bought a veggie tray and a fruit tray with dips. So I stuck to them - but again hidden calories in those dips that I didn't resist.

Now I'm paying the price. I stood on the scale this morning and its 223. One whole pound. It takes me 3 days to loose a pound and less than 24 hours to gain it. A lesson learned about eating again. Don't have the sauce, don't have the dressing and don't have the dips!!!! That gets me in the end, and undoes all the hard work.

Yesterday morning when I stepped on the scales I was proud of myself.
Today when I stepped on the scales and saw 223lbs, I was ashamed of my lack of control. I know better. I know the hidden calories in sauces and dressings. Usually they are "hundreds" of calories. I was feeling good about avoiding the chips when I read that 20 chips has 270 calories - but what were the calories in the dips and BBQ sauce on my chicken??? What were the calories in the balsamic salad dressing at lunch???

They all add up.

Namaste.
B.

Friday May 26th Study day #1

Welcome to Friday! Today the scale said 222.5lbs

I took Friday, Monday and Tuesday off work as I am writing an Exam towards my Group Benefits Administrator designation on Tuesday and this is day 1 of studying!

I've been thinking about "Gossip". I know that when my weight goes up and down that people in my life talk about it. (Which is okay) - Think about it, I'm encouraging the conversation with this Blog!

Part of the human experience is learning from each other. When I talk about other people (yes I do talk about others), I am doing one of three things

1. Exploring my feelings about a situation, talking out how I feel and figuring out what to do, or understanding why something occurred with another individual. Disagreements, behaviour I don't understand, concern about a situation, mind games or dynamics that confuse me etc..... And sometimes with a safe friend I'll just vent my frustrations to work through them.

2. Learning from another's experience. I see a friend/family member have an experience that I wish to understand, and talking about it helps me learn. New Babies, New relationships, new jobs, successes, failures etc... Observing life around me and gaining some wisdom from it.

3. Concern, compassion. For example, I would assume that my family would be concerned about my weight gain when they speak about me. Worried about my health, my self-esteem. People get sick, loved ones die, divorces, accidents, mental illness etc...

I do have some "guidelines" I apply when talking about another

1. Respect the individual I'm talking about, have compassion for their situation and their point of view even though they are not in the room.

2. Try to understand the "why" - the reason for the conversation is to learn/understand/grow through observing another. Talk to "understand".

3. If an individual I'm talking with starts making untrue or derogatory statements - stop the conversation. Phrases such as "She's such a bitch" or "He's just an idiot" are not appropriate. Or suggesting the person is "bad" or "not as good as us" is not productive and not about learning or compassion. That's getting into malicious statements and judgments of placing someone in a "lower" position. We all have our moments in life. I know that I've come across as opinionated, angry, bitchy, and a little crazy to others and I would not want to be seen as "less than" another, so I won't do that to someone else. Sure they can talk about my behaviour, vent about me if I've irritated them, talk about my experiences to the cows come home - I have no problems with that. I just hope that they see my humanity, my vulnerability, my soul while they talk about me. If I want that for me, then I want that for another too.

4. I keep my favourite phrase in mind "What would Love do now"

It all comes down to the fact that when I talk about someone else I'm really talking about "me" and my experience with them in the world.

When I was in my twenties in University, I had a good lesson on "gossip" that had me come up with my own guidelines so I didn't fall into the "negative" side of talking about another. When I was in university I fell in with a group of friends that crossed the line. Women that started a conversation from concern, curiosity, understanding, but ended the conversation with huge assumptions, rumours, and hurtful words about the other that made it difficult to be in the room with the other person after the conversation took place (even though they were not there at the time of the conversation). I remember one day stopping internally and listening to what they were doing, saying and the impact of their words. They were creating a soap opera of fiction that was amazing - and spreading these words around like it was truth. I had to make a choice about who I would stay in contact with, who I wanted in my life, and I walked away from a few individuals.

With going up and down in size, I've walked into a number of conversations about "me". I am not offended - I understand the concern. When I've lost weight I hear, "we've been just talking about your success". When I've gained weight - the conversation abruptly ends when I enter the room and I get those "smiles" as they change to a new topic. This is good too. That's showing me respect. Do I really want to hear "oh my god Betsy gained so much weight since I last saw her" - No, I don't. I know it. Do I want them NOT to talk about me? No, not really. That's an unrealistic expectation, and talking about my weight gain (or anything else in my life) is about them sorting out their feelings, their concerns, learning from my experience, processing life around them. That's what life is about. Experiencing, processing, observing, growing... And there is a whole world full of people who do it.

Think about it. If you don't care about another person at all - really don't care - you don't talk about them, as they don't matter. The fact someone is taking the time and energy to review my actions, my life means that I'm important enough to them to learn, interact, and experience me.

I'm also a verbal processor. I learn by talking. Part of this blog is about learning about me, and while I'm writing, whether it is this blog or a memo at work, I talk out loud. When I'm confused or am looking to understand something, I go and find someone to talk to. That's how I learn. Those of me who know me are smiling knowingly when I say that "I talk a lot". I know I'm chatty. I also know why I'm chatty. I will share anything. My personal view about my life is that it is an open book. Whether I'm at work, at home, with total strangers, I'll share everything because I learn from that experience. I do recognise that not everybody is comfortable with this. I know some people feel things are "private" and compartmental their life and have different conversations with different groups. The "work" group, verses the "Friend group" verses the "family group". As I am aware, I will back off my "sharing" with these people so they feel more comfortable with me. I don't expect others to share like I do. Each person has their own way of expressing their life. I do it verbally (and in this Blog). I do LOVE it though when people are open to talking and sharing their life story, thoughts with me. I learn so much from what others feel, experience, do in their lives. There have been amazing conversations that I have had with another that has changed my point of view, where I've gained wisdom from their experience, or grew as a person from a simple hallway conversation. Listening to another is part of the "talking" - Talking alone is just trumpeting your own opinion over and over - Dialoguing and Listening - now that's learning.

Namaste

B.

Thursday May 25th

It's Thursday - this is my last day at work this week as I'm taking Friday to Tuesday Off to Study for my CEBS exam which I am writing on Tuesday May 30th at 3:30 pm.

Today the scales said 223lbs. Funny how the day after I take the picture the scales go down.

My mind has not been kind to me lately. I keep reviewing the pictures of when I was 178lbs and remembering how good it felt to be there. I can't believe I'm back here over 200lbs again. It's slowly going down. Still, I thought I had learned my lesson in the past - weigh myself every day and keep on top of it. I had set 180lbs as my "danger sign" weight not to go over again, but I obviously failed. I have all these great clothes that I miss. I've only been below 200lbs for a very short time in my adult life - and I enjoyed going to "normal" stores.

Do you know how embarrassing it is to have the sales clerk ask if they can help you. You tell them a size greater then a 16-18 and they say "I'm sorry we don't carry those sizes" - even worse is when they avoid you because they know they can't help you. Stores such as the Gap are the worse of them all. The looks I have got in the the Gap. The poor sales people don't know what to do with someone who is a bigger size. They are usually young teenagers - immature, and not very sensitive to others, so they come up with some interesting comments!

At this size, I don't care so much about my clothes. I just want to look "nice". When I am at my lower weight I enjoy looking "GOOD!". As I got dressed today, I realized I didn't really care what I looked like. I'm still feeling "Big". When I saw the picture yesterday I sighed. I still don't look like me. I don't know who that woman in the picture is, but it's not me.

Namaste
B.

Chart

Weigh In May 24th

Today I was at 224lbs. I seem to be stuck there.

Here is "today's" picture of the week.

Tonight I'm HUNGRY!!! Chris is away, I didn't feel like cooking, so I went and got a roasted chicken. I've been good, only took a regular portion, but I feel like I could eat the entire bird!!

Breathing Deeply!

Of course I'm eating dinner at 7:54pm - after my massage and lunch was at 12:00 noon - no wonder I'm hungry!

Namaste
B.

Back to work - Tuesday May 23rd

It is Tuesday - back to work after a cold wet and snow flurry weekend! Today the scale was 224lbs.

Working is a much healthier life for me - I am so busy at work, I can't think about food. When I'm home I think a lot about food.

I got an e-mail from my friend Karen - had also read about sweetners and how they help keep you fat.

Here is an article I found at:

http://www.webmd.com/content/article/89/100381.htm

Artificial Sweeteners May Damage Diet Efforts

Sugar Substitutes May Distort the Body's Natural Calorie Counter
By Jennifer WarnerWebMD Medical News

Reviewed By Brunilda Nazario, MDon Wednesday, June 30, 2004

June 30, 2004 -- Sugar substitutes may offer sweet treats for calorie-conscious dieters, but a new study shows that they may also play tricks on the body and sabotage weight-loss efforts.
Researchers say artificial sweeteners may interfere with the body's natural ability to count calories based on a food's sweetness and make people prone to overindulging in other sweet foods and beverages.

For example, drinking a diet soft drink rather than a sugary one at lunch may reduce the calorie count of the meal, but it may trick the body into thinking that other sweet items don't have as many calories either.

Researchers say the findings show that losing the ability to judge a food's calorie content based on its sweetness may be contributing to the dramatic rise in overweight and obesity rates in the U.S.

But don't ditch your diet drink yet.

"The message is not to give up your diet soda and go drink a regular soda," says researcher Susan Swithers, PhD, associate professor of psychological sciences at Purdue University. "But when you do drink beverages you probably need to pay a little more attention to whether they have calories or not and what the consequences of that fact will be on the rest of your diet."
Sweetness Provides Calorie-Counting Clues

Swithers says that in the past, a food's sweetness provided valuable clues about its caloric content, and something sweet was usually a good source of energy.

"Before things like artificial sweeteners, these relationships would be very reliable," says Swithers. "Animals needed to find good sources of calories and needed to know whether eating something provided them with lots of calories."

"It's only been relatively recently that foods have been introduced that violate those kind of relationships, such as something very sweet that has no calories," Swithers tells WebMD.
According to researchers, the number of Americans who consume sugar-free, artificially sweetened products has grown from less than 70 million in 1987 to more than 160 million in 2000.

At the same time that more people are drinking and eating foods sweetened with low-calorie sweeteners, such as aspartame and saccharin, they're not getting any thinner. In contrast, more people are becoming overweight or obese.

That prompted researchers to test whether not being able to use sensory clues to predict the calorie content of foods might contribute to overeating and weight gain.

Artificial Sweeteners May Trick the Brain

In the study, published in the July issue of the International Journal of Obesity, two groups of rats were fed either a mix of high-calorie, sugar-sweetened, and low-calorie, artificially sweetened liquids; or sugar-sweetened liquids alone. This was fed to the rats in addition their regular diet. After 10 days, they were offered a high-calorie, chocolate-flavored snack.
The study showed that rats fed the mixed liquids ate more of their regular chow after the sweet snack than those who had been fed sugar-sweetened liquids alone.

Researchers say the results show that the experience of drinking artificially sweetened, low-calorie liquids had damaged the rats' natural ability to compensate for the calories in the snack.

Manipulating Food Can Derail Diets

Health psychologist Daniel C. Stettner, PhD, says damaging the body's natural ability to count calories based on food's sweetness is just one way in which food can be manipulated to change eating habits and contribute to obesity.

"We do more to manipulate food than just add artificial sweeteners. The food industry plays with the sugar, the fat, and the salt," Stettner tells WebMD. "It's like a shell game."
Stettner says that when manufacturers lower the sugar content in foods, they typically increase the fat or the salt content to compensate for any change in how it tastes or feels in the mouth. For example, sugar-free ice creams can be made higher in fat content.

"Sugar-free foods can still be calorie-dense, and that can mess up weight," says Stettner, who specializes in weight issues at Northpointe Health Center in Berkley, Mich.
Stettner says the body's natural calorie counter and sense of balance is also affected by genetics, environment, marketing, and physical activity level, which were not taken into account by this study.

"So many factors contribute to obesity," says Stettner. Although artificial sweeteners may alter the eating behavior of rats, he says the same principle may not necessarily apply to humans.
Swithers says that many types of learning processes translate from rats to humans, but she acknowledges that the loss of the ability to judge the calorie content of sweet foods is probably just one of the contributors to the rise in overweight and obesity.

However, she says humans also have a distinct advantage over rats when it comes to controlling how many calories they put into their body.

"Rats can't read the labels, but we can," says Swithers. "We have to take that extra step of reading the labels or asking how many calories are in there. That may be enough so that we can compensate for those sweet calories."

SOURCES: Davidson, T. International Journal of Obesity, July 2004; vol 28: pp 933-935. News release, Purdue University. Susan Swithers, PhD, associate professor of psychological sciences, Ingestive Research Center, Purdue University. Daniel Stettner, PhD, health psychologist, Northpointe Health Center, Berkley, Mich. FDA. Vermunt, S. Obesity Reviews, May 2003; vol 4: pp 91-99.

Holiday Monday

Hello Everybody - Happy Holiday Monday to you all!

I stepped on the scales today and it fluctuated between 224.5 and 225lbs.

It seems I have gained a pound over the last couple of days. I did my best to be very very good in Parry Sound.

On Saturday before we left I had my one egg omlette and yogurt. When we got there it was 4pm and there were snacks available. I went to the fridge and cut up a cucumber and used cucumber to try the salsa. Dinner was not ready to 8:40pm. For dinner I had turkey and salad. Here is where the hidden calories snuck in. I had too much turkey and the salad dressing was already mixed in - so I don't know the calorie count. Also eating around 9pm at night is really late, and messes up my slow metabolism - so I was too full over night and my growth hormone would have been surpressed by the food, and the food would have been stored as fat and not used by the growth hormone with body rebuilding during my sleep. So double whammy - bigger portions and late eating!

On Sunday I got up and made my one egg omlette for myself. We went out for lunch at 4:00pm and I had a chicken salad with a vinergerette dressing. Dinner was after 7pm. For dinner there was salad again with a bowl of chilli. Same scenerio with the salads - probably too much dressing and not knowing the calorie count, and my bowl of chilli was more then I should have taken.

It's all about portions and timing. When I'm at home, I am better at controlling portions and timing. When I'm out, I'm not so good. I have been good with choices. I skipped the home made bread, I skipped the chips, nachos, I skipped the crackers and cheese, I said no to french fries and Onion rings this weekend. I've said no to chocolate pie dessert too (Home made!). I kept my word of no flour, no sugar, no white starch. Though Chris was sitting next to me with home made white bread to dip in the chilli last night - and I leaned into him and breathed in the sent of the bread - it smelt delicious and all my cravings just wanted to leap out of me and eat that bread!

I'm glad we are going no where next weekend (May 27 & 28th) I want to be home!!!! All this travelling and eating out is getting to me. This is the third weekend we have been away. Though everybody has been really cooperative while I've been at their home - I'm still not in control of my timing and my body rythem gets messed up. All three weekends have had me stall in my weight loss process. Friday Night to Sunday night seem to be all messed up!

One idea I'm considering is asking for a side plate where every I go, and only eat a portion that fits the side plate. Anything more then that plate is a "no" - that may help with eating out, and at other peoples homes. Keep my portions in check.

Namaste

B.

Weekend Update - LOST first 10 POUNDS

Welcome to the weekend - This morning I weighed in at 224lbs.

I've lost my first 10 pounds since May 3rd when I started this blog!

Did the happy dance this morning!

This is the Long weekend in Canada- the Victoria Day (May 24) weekend! I am going up to Parry Sound this weekend to Chris's Mom and Step Dads. Another opportunity for food. I hear for dinner we are having a Mexican dish - I'll have to creatively dissect out the four, white starch if I can. If I can't I hear we are also having Caesar salad. Caesar salad is full of calories (it's the dressing)- but I can probably get away with having a small portion of salad for dinner if I can't dissect the Mexican dish. Breakfast tomorrow morning should be okay - they usually have eggs.

The biggest challenge will be all the snack food - they will have a great assortment of food such as cream cheese dip, crackers, chips etc... I'll have to keep my mental game in control and resist!

This last week I've had a lot of crazy thoughts about food. There was a staff lunch on Wednesday - I had a hamburger patty no bun and some fruit I brought to work. The salads they provided were the macaroni, potato, cold slaw salads in a bucket. I read the calories and fat on the side of the cold slaw bucket and was floored at how many calories where in 1/2 a cup. I really wanted the cold slaw too! But I resisted. It seems like every corner I turn someone is offering me food - high calorie food, or food with sugar, flour, white starch in it. It is everywhere! I'm still dreaming about food. I was dreaming about chocolate cake last night.

Yesterday a gentleman posted an encouraging message (thank you). One of his observations he had when was he was visiting the United States was he noticed people didn't walk much. Now this is Canada (and for all us Canadians out there we are very sensitive about being compared with the USA due to their not so positive aggressive world image, so don't be offended with the USA comparison) - but I have to say that the North American culture does rely on cars for everything. When I was living in Toronto right down town in the city, I found I was much more fit! I didn't take a subway to the Eaton's Centre - it was only a 20 minute walk, so I walked. I walked to get my groceries, to get to work downtown. I walked to socialize up and down Bloor or Yonge. I walked everywhere. Taking a car downtown Toronto is a pain in the butt, and to park it costs you at least $10.00 or more!

Now I'm in a community 120km North of where I lived in Toronto, living in a suburb. I keep hoping they will build a corner store in an empty lot not far from my house so I can go walk and get milk. I walked to Walmart-Zhers plaza a couple of times. It's a 45 minute walk from my house one way - not very walking friendly! We drive down to the lakefront here - and they have a 5km trail of paths along the lake downtown, and we enjoy walking there, but the point is we DRIVE to get there!

North America has built up the "box store" life style - where walking to anything is a chore, even dangerous for the pedestrian as sidewalks are disappearing and traffic is heavy.

I have to say, living down town Toronto made me healthier on a daily basis. It was my life style to walk. The only difficulty about living down town Toronto was the crowds, the expense, the noise, pollution (both car and electric/magnetic pollution), very little green space, living on top of each other etc... Though I LOVED living there when I did live there - I had an amazing social life, always something to do just around the corner, believe it or not - the people are friendly there - there is a sense of community in the down town neighbourhoods. People know their neighbours, get involved in the community, living so close to each other encourages a sense of knowing each other. I just could not afford to own a house or have any savings in Toronto!.

Anyhow I degress. My walking here goes down in the winter time too. They don't plough the sidewalks to the very last - and with my knees, I need a clean surface to walk on. The roads are ploughed well! Good for cars - not for walkers!

Well there is the blogg for today!

I hope you all have a GREAT long weekend!

Namaste
B.

IT'S FRIDAY! TGIF

Welcome to Friday everybody. Today the scales said 225lbs!

I think switching to eggs helped, giving me protein in the morning. Today I added my flax seed to the eggs, and it tasted okay. I was wondering how I was going to incorporate the naturopath suggestion of ground flax seed every day without the oatmeal in the morning. But it seems to work in Eggs too!

Here is a great article on the effects of Sleep and weight Loss

Article found on: http://womenshealth.about.com/

If you are like millions of other Americans, your number one New Year's Resolution is probably to lose weight; however, whether you succeed or not may depend on how much good sleep you get each night. According to recent studies published in the Journal of the American Medical Association and the Lancet, sleep loss tends to increase hunger and affects the body's metabolism making it difficult to maintain weight loss or lose weight.

A hormone called cortisol which controls appetite has been shown to be affected by sleep loss. This causes you to still feel hungry despite the fact that you have consumed an adequate amount of food. Other ways that sleep loss affects your ability to lose and maintain weight loss include:

• Interference with carbohydrate metabolism which may cause high blood glucose levels.
• Excess amounts of glucose encourages the overproduction of insulin which leads to the storage of excess body fat, as well as lead to insulin resistance (a significant sign of adult-onset diabetes.

According to Michael Thorpy, MD, director of the Sleep-Wake Disorders Center at Montefiore Medical Center in New York, "Sleep loss is associated with striking alterations in hormone levels that regulate the appetite and may be a contributing factor to obesity. Any American making a resolution to lose weight in the New Year should probably consider a parallel commitment for getting more sleep."

An estimated 40 percent of Americans promise to lose weight in the New Year; however, almost 90 percent of those who responded to a nationwide survey reported either occasional or no success losing weight. In fact, nearly half of the respondents reported losing very little weight or, unfortunately, gaining weight instead.

How Sleep Loss Affects Body Weight

Not only does quantity of sleep affect weight, loss of sleep quality can also affect your weight. An example of this is seen in the fact that decreased amounts of restorative deep or slow-wave sleep have been associated with significantly reduced levels of growth hormone. Growth hormone is a protein that helps the body regulate the proportions of fat and muscle in adults.
"Sleep loss disrupts a complex and interwoven series of metabolic and hormonal processes and may be a contributing factor to obesity," said John Winkelman, MD, Ph.D., medical director of the Sleep Health Center at Brigham and Women's Hospital and assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. "What most people do not realize is that better sleep habits may be instrumental to the success of any weight management plan."

Sleeplessness in America

Are you getting enough sleep? If you are not, you are not alone. According to a poll sponsored by the National Sleep Foundation, only 30 percent of adults reported getting eight or more hours of sleep on weeknights; while 52 percent reported getting eight or more hours of sleep on weekend nights. For many of you, this lack of adequate sleep may be elective in order to increase your work or free time. A majority of respondents to the poll also suffer from sleep disorders which affect both the quantify and quality of their sleep. Almost three quarters (74 percent) experienced at least one symptom of a sleep disorder on two or more nights each week.

Insomnia was defined as having any one of the following symptoms:

• difficulty falling asleep
• waking often during the night
• waking up to early in the morning and being unable to go back to sleep
• waking up in the morning feeling unrested

Over half (58 percent) of the poll respondents reported at least one symptom of insomnia on two or more nights of the week.

"People who experience sleep disturbances for more than a few weeks should see their doctor," said Thorpy. "In addition to making behavioral and lifestyle modifications, there are newer prescription sleep medications that can help individuals fall asleep quickly and increase their total sleep time with minimal next-day effects."

Adjusting your sleep habits will help you to lose weight in the New Year, or anytime, according to sleep experts. Here are a few tips that can help you keep your weight loss resolution.
Don't eat right before bed, but make sure you've eaten a good dinner so you don't go to bed hungry.

Regular exercise is key to weight loss; however, make sure you exercise at least three hours before you go to bed.

Find a relaxing bedtime routine and stick with it--it could be something as simple as a warm bath or reading a book (a really boring book such as a how-to manual is almost guaranteed to put you to sleep fast).

Caffeine, cigarettes, and alcoholic beverages don't help you sleep, in fact they may actually make sleep impossible, so avoid these substances late in the afternoon and evening.
Don't take a daytime nap if you have trouble sleeping at night.

Make your bedroom a pleasant place for sleeping. Set your thermostat to a temperature you find comfortable and make your room as dark and quiet as possible.

If you have been trying to sleep for 30 minutes and are still awake, get out of bed. Go in another room and do something relaxing until you feel like you are sleepy enough to go to sleep.

See your health care provider if sleep problems continue for more than a few weeks, or if sleep loss interferes with your daily life.

Source: PR Newswire

Thursday May 18th 2006

Today the scales said 225.5lbs - and that felt good!

I've been working on the best pattern of food for my body.

Recently I've been having:

Breakfast

1 egg, milk, italian spices & onion omlete (90 calories)

Silhouette Yogourt (40 cal)

Lunch

Raw broccoli, Raw red pepper, yellow pepper, orange pepper

Wendy & Barb's low fat Humas (30 cal per 2 tbsp) - 90 calories worth

Fruit (Blueberries, strawberries)

5 Almonds (40 calories)

Dinner

Protein (meat)

Vegetables

Last night's dinner was a chilli Chris made - it was absolutely fabulous!!! One of the best Chilli's I've had. Chris's Mom brought us some cans of chilli peppers from Arizona - and that was the secret ingredient!

Water

The other key has been water - at work I have a water bottle that holds 1 US Quart which is equal to 32 oz of water. I have Two of those a day (64 oz)

At breakfast I have a glass of water that holds 2 cups of water = 14 oz

For dinner I have a glass of water that holds 2 cups of water = 14 oz

In total I am having 92 oz of water a day minimum.

The weekends I don't get as much water in with out my work water bottle.

Namaste

B.

Chart

Wed May 17, 2006 - Weigh in time

The first picture here is me TODAY at 226.5lbs. The second Picture is me at 195lbs during another weight loss time.

I thought I'd change the "comparison" picture. Reminding me that if I don't make it to 178lbs for the wedding, getting under 200 lbs is good too! and very reasonable as a goal.

Thanks to Joan who posted that encouraging comment on yesterday's blog! I needed to hear that - thank you very much!

As you can see by "results" I managed to get down to 226.5. Still short of what I was hoping for in a goal - but still very happy that the scales went down, feeling more motivated today as a result.

Here is some more "article" information:

CARBOHYDRATES-THE REASON YOU'RE FAT

Over the past fifteen years, our dietary establishment has made a virtual industry of extolling the virtues of carbohydrates. We're constantly told that carbohydrates are the good guys of nutrition, and that, if we eat large amounts of them, the world should be a better place. In such a world, the experts tell us, there will be no heart disease and no obesity. Under such guidance, Americans are gobbling breads, cereals, and pastas as if there were no tomorrow, trying desperately to reach that 80-85 percent of total calories advocated by the high-carb extremists.

Unfortunately, many people don't really know what a carbohydrate is. Most people will say carbohydrates are sweets and pasta. Ask them what a vegetable or fruit is, and they'll probably reply that it's a vegetable or fruit - as if that were a food type all its own, a food type that they can eat in unlimited amounts without gaining weight.

Well, this may come as a surprise, but all of the above - sweets and pasta, vegetables and fruits - are carbohydrates. Carbohydrates are merely different forms of simple sugars linked together in polymers - something like edible plastic.

Of course, we all need a certain amount of carbohydrates in our diet. The body requires a continual intake of carbohydrates to feed the brain, which uses glucose (a form of sugar) as its primary energy source. In fact, the brain is a virtual glucose hog, gobbling more than two thirds of the circulating carbohydrates in the bloodstream while you are at rest. To feed this glucose hog, the body continually takes carbohydrates and converts them to glucose.

It's actually a bit more complicated than that. Any carbohydrates not immediately used by the body will be stored in the form of glycogen (a long string of glucose molecules linked together) The body has two storage sites for glycogen: the liver and the muscles. The glycogen stored in the muscles is inaccessible to the brain. Only the glycogen stored in the liver can be broken down and sent back to the bloodstream so as to maintain adequate blood sugar levels for proper brain function.

The liver's capacity to store carbohydrates in the form of glycogen is very limited and can be easily depleted within ten to twelve hours. So the liver's glycogen reserves must be maintained on a continual basis. That's why we eat carbohydrates.

The question no one has bothered to ask until now is this: what happens when you eat Too Much carbohydrate? Here's the answer: whether it's being stored in the liver or the muscles, the total storage capacity of the body for carbohydrate is really quit limited. If you're an average person, you can store about three hundred to four hundred grams of carbohydrate in your muscles, but you can't get to that carbohydrate. In the liver, where carbohydrates are accessible for glucose conversion, you can store only about sixty to ninety grams. This is equivalent to about two cups of cooked pasta or three typical candy bars, and it represents your total reserve capacity to keep the brain working properly.

Once the glycogen levels are filled in both the liver and the muscles, the excess carbohydrates have just one fate: to be converted into fat and stored in the adipose, that is, fatty, tissue. In a nutshell even though carbohydrates themselves are fat-free, excess carbohydrates End Up As Excess Fat.

That's not the worst of it. Any meal or snack high in carbohydrates will generate a rapid rise in blood glucose. To adjust for this rapid rise, the pancreas secretes the hormone insulin into the bloodstream. Insulin then lowers the levels of blood glucose.

All well and good. The problem is that insulin is essentially a storage hormone, evolved to put aside excess carbohydrate calories in the form of fat in case of Future Famine. So the insulin that's stimulated by excess carbohydrates aggressively promotes the accumulation of body fat.

In other words, when we eat too much carbohydrate, we're essentially sending a Hormonal message, via insulin, to the body (actually to the adipose cells). The message: "Store Fat"

Hold one; it gets even worse. Not only do increased insulin levels tell the body to store carbohydrates as fat, they also tell it not to release any stored fat. This makes it impossible for you to use your own stored body fate for energy. So the excess carbohydrates in your diet not only make you fat, they make sure you STAY fat. It's a double whammy, and it can be lethal.

To put it another way, too much carbohydrate means too much insulin, and too much insulin takes you out of the zone. Out of the zone, you put on excess body fat, and you can't get rid of it.

That's the carbohydrate picture in outline. Let's sharpen the focus. The real key to all this is the SPEED at which carbohydrates enter the bloodstream, because that's what controls the rate of insulin secretion. You see, the stomach is basically an indiscriminate vat of acid that takes all carbohydrates - whether they're puffed-rice cakes, refined table sugar, carrots, or pasta - and breaks them down into simple sugars for absorption. What distinguishes one kind of carbohydrate from another is the rate at which the carbohydrate enters the bloodstream.

Before 1980 no one bothered to ask about the entry rates into the bloodstream of various types of carbohydrates. When this question was finally studied, the implications should have turned the nutritional community on its head. Somehow supposedly "simple" sugars like fructose were entering the bloodstream at far SLOWER rates than supposedly "complex" carbohydrates like pasta. This fact has major consequences if you ever hope to reach the Zone.

The entry rate of a carbohydrate into the bloodstream is known as its gycemic index. The lower the glycemic index, the slower the rate of absorption. Believe it or not, refined table sugar has a lower glycemic index then typical breakfast cereals. Actually, the carbohydrate that turned out to have one of the highest gycemic indices - that is - the fasted recorded entry rates into the bloodstream - was the basic centerpiece of many weight-reduction programs; puffed-rice cakes. In fact, puff-rice cakes have a much higher glycemic index then ice cream, which is supposed to be the weight watcher's worst enemy.

Say it ain't so.

What determines the glycemic index? The primary factors are (1) the structure of the simple sugars in the food (2) the soluble fibre content, and (3) the fat content. I'll com back to the fat content in a moment; for now let's talk about the other two.

How does the structure of the simple sugar that makes up the carbohydrate affect the sugar's rate of entry into the bloodstream? Remember that all "complex" carbohydrates must be broken down into simple sugars for absorption. There are only three common sugars that comprise all edible carbohydrates, and each has a different molecular structure, which ultimately determines its rate of entry into the bloodstream. Glucose is the most common of these sugars, followed by fructose and galactose.

Glucose is found in grains, pasta, bread, cereal, starches, and vegetables. Fructose is primarily found in fruits. Galactose is found in dairy products. However, while all of these simple sugars are rapidly absorbed by the liver, only glucose can be released directly into the bloodstream. This is why glucose-rich carbohydrates like breads and pasta virtually sprint from the liver back into the bloodstream, while galactose and fructose, which must first be converted to glucose in the liver, enter the bloodstream at a slower rate.

For fructose especially, this is a very slow process. That's why even though they're primarily made up of simple sugars; fructose-containing carbohydrates (primarily fruits) have a very low glycemic index compared to glucose and galactose-containing carbohydrates.

What about the fibre content? Fibre (which is non-digestible carbohydrate) is not absorbed, and therefore it has no effect on insulin absorption of other carbohydrates into the bloodstream. The higher the fibre content of a carbohydrate, the slower the rate of entry into the bloodstream. Remove the fibre of the carbohydrate and the rate of entry accelerates. So fibre is a significant factor in controlling the speed at which the body absorbs carbohydrate. In effect, fibre acts a control rod to prevent a runaway rate of carbohydrate absorption. (this, by the way, is the same reason there are control rods in nuclear reactors - to prevent potentially dangerous runaway reactions.)

That's why the recent popularity in juicing (the removal of fibre from fruits to make easy-to-drink juices) has been a disaster. Juicing simply removes a primary control rod (i.e. fibre) from the carbohydrate, meaning that the carbohydrate enters the bloodstream too fast.

When a carbohydrate enters the bloodstream too fast, the pancreas responds by secreting high level of insulin. While that brings the blood-sugar level down, it also tells the body to store fat and keep it stored.

So too many high-glycemic carbohydrates can not only make you fat, they will also keep you that way. A complete listing of the glycemic index for of carbohydrates is given in Appendix H; you can use these simple rules to determine whether a carbohydrate's glycemic index is high or low. Virtually all fruits (Except bananas and dried fruits) and virtually all fibre-rich vegetables (except carrots and corn) are low glycemic carbohydrates. Virtually all grains, starches, (potatoes), and pasta are high-glycemic carbohydrates.

Ironically, high-glycemic carbohydrates like grains, breads and pasta are the base of the new supposedly healthy "food pyramid" established by the U.S. government. Yet these are precisely the types off carbohydrates that promote increased insulin levels - can have exactly the wrong effect. Instead of burning off your stockpiles of stored fat, you're actually increasing them. Instead of getting leaner, you're getting fatter.

The next time you reach for a fat-free puffed-rice cake, you may want to keep that in mind.

Tuesday May 16th- frustrated

Well it is Tuesday and I'm still 227.5lbs - And I'm feeling frustrated.

I've been sooo good with food. I've had low calorie meals - no flour, no sugar, very little if any starch. Yesterday I had oatmeal with blueberries and yogurt for breakfast (less than 300 calories) for lunch I had some humus, raw veggies, blue berries and almonds and for dinner I had 4 cubes of chicken and peppers and onion lightly grilled on the BBQ. Maybe I need to cut out the humus with lunch?

This morning I'm trying I yogurt (40 calories) a 1 egg omelet (75 calories). The same lunch, cut back on humus (not sure if I can stomach the raw veggies without something to dip them in) and cut back on Almonds from 10 almonds to 5 almonds (they are 8 calories each).

I feel "behind schedule" - I was hoping to be 225lbs by Wednesday and seeing that is tomorrow, I'm not crossing my fingers.

Namaste
B.

Monday May 15th 2006

Welcome to Monday Morning! I weighed in today at 227.5lbs.

I had some interesting opportunities this weekend! Went to a dinner theatre on Saturday night - had Turkey dinner (skipped the bun and stuffing and pie!). Afterwards we went to the cast party as our friend Dan was in the play. Here they had every goodie known to man kind - chocolate, brownies, chips, dip, pasta, sandwiches, candy etc.. And every second person asked me to try something - and I kept saying "no". It got to the point were a couple of people were actually a bit annoyed that I kept saying "no" - (not really annoyed, but getting pushy). I finally said "I can't have sugar" - figuring that they would stop if they thought they were killing off a diabetic or something. Food is such a social thing - saying no gets difficult and is hard to do when you hear over and over again "you just got to try this, it's amazing - only one bite, that won't hurt you , come on, try it, you'll love it!"

My next Opportunity was yesterday at Lunch - they choose Mexicali Rosa's (Mexican) for lunch. Do you know how hard it is to stay away from "bread/flour" products in a Mexican restaurant?? There was only ONE dish that didn't have a bread product and that was a lime chicken - still came with rice - but not bread. I could not find anything without rice, white starch or flour on the menu - even the salads came in either a bread bowl or taco bowl. The deadly thing about salads is the dressing - a ceasar salad dressing can have 700 calories in it! Have to be very careful about ordering salads out.

Again this blog helped me keep on track - knowing that I was discussing here openly the challenges of the weekend helped me to say "no" at the party and pick the lime chicken and not eat the flour products at the restaurant.

Namaste

B.

Goal Chart

Weekend Update May 13th

Welcome everybody to the weekend. Today the scales said 227.5lbs

Last night was interesting (if you were inside my head at least). It started off me coming home and asking Chris about dinner. He said he had a big lunch and was full, then promptly fell asleep on the couch. (smile) - So I went ahead and made myself an omelet for dinner (showing off my cooking skills!). When he woke up, we spoke with the rest of the Augustson clan (his brothers, Dad, Julie) and it was decided everybody was going out to dinner. Now as a food addict, going out to dinner is what we dream about. Here I am already had dinner, and knowing I can't order another meal or I will go over my calorie intake for the day. So Off we go to Philthy McNasty's for dinner and hockey game. They ordered an apetiser Jalopeno Poppers - I had one, only one. I ate it slowly and savoured the taste as if it was the last food on earth. Then I had diet pepsi for the rest of the night. But I craved food, was screaming inside my head to order food for me. The insanity that goes inside my head when faced with a menu is insane, really insane! I resisted. I have to say why I resisted was because of this blog. I made a promise to myself that I would be honest here - really honest - so if I went and ordered something from the menu after already having an omlete for dinner, I would have "reported" on myself - even if nobody is reading this - I'm reading this! (smile - it's all about me LOL). So knowing that I would write the truth - and knowing I'm only 2 weeks into the lifestyle change, I thought falling off the wagon would be too embarassing for me to me! (if that makes sense) - so I held out - didn't eat any more food. The reward was today I saw 227.5lbs - the scale is going down.

Today I'm off to friends for a dinner theater. Another interesting "Opportunity" ahead of me. My Friends Dan and Joan are great - we always have wonderful time together. We always have a lot of food together. Today is another day of choices. Not to have the snack food available - not to have flour, sugar, starch for dinner. To choose to eat a small portion and stick to the protien and veggies for dinner. Make today about being with good friends - not about being with "food".

I've copied and pasted some more information I found useful on carb cravings that I thought others may find useful as well:

Carb-craving information:

carbohydrate cravings and addiction as a matter of biology, not will-power. base on controlling insulin and blood sugar swings, which is generally agreed by authorities to be the leading physical trigger for carb cravings.

Definition:

A compelling hunger, craving, or desire for carbohydrate-rich foods;
an escalating, recurring need or drive for starches, snack foods, junk food, or sweets.

In addition, carbohydrate act-alike (sugar substitutes, alcoholic beverages, and monosodium glutamate) may trigger intense or recurring carbohydrate cravings and/or weight gain.

High-sugar, refined starch, convenience and comfort foods feed the addiction like a drug. They produce correspondingly high blood sugar and insulin levels, which leads to even more cravings. They also produce higher levels of the brain chemical serotonin -- rather like Prozac. In sensitive people, particularly those who may have low serotonin levels to begin with, a carbohydrate binge is the equivalent of self-medicating, just to get the sugar "high". Excessive alcohol consumption also contributes to lowered levels of the brain chemical serotonin.

Tension and stress increase brain chemicals that lead to overeating. When we are tense, the adrenal gland produces more of the hormone coritsol. Dr. Sarah Leibowitz of Rockefeller University found that cortisol stimulates production of a brain chemical called "neuropeptide Y". This brain chemical is a chief factor in turning our carbohydrate cravings on and off. Even worse, Leibowitz also reports that neuropeptide Y also makes the body hang on to the new body fat we produce (apparently this is some ancient biological throwback to the cave days). In other words, tension not only triggers carbohydrate cravings, it also makes it more difficult to lose any additional weight. Cortisol also stimulates insulin, which leads to blood sugar dips and fat storage. It's a vicious cycle that feeds on itself, over and over.

The majority of our cravings are due to the extreme fluctuations in our blood sugar levels. The more high glycemic (simple sugars) carbohydrates we consume (even when they are void of fat) like, grains, pastas, and even fruit juices, the more dramatic the rise in our storage hormone insulin. High blood sugar levels and high insulin levels create a hypoglycaemic (low blood sugar) response due to the higher half-life of insulin, which tends to remain active even after blood sugar levels are lowered. This initiates a craving response on the brain for sweet carbohydrate rich foods that are able to once again raise blood sugar levels. This rise and fall of insulin and blood sugar also creates an enhanced environment conducive to fat storage by preventing the metabolism of fats for energy, instead setting into play the usage of sugars and proteins as energy substrates. Without a steady supply of high quality protein and essential fatty acids (omega: 3 and omega: 6), our bodies cannot deal with the onslaught of these sugars as they are broken down into glucose (a simple sugar). Protein is responsible for boosting your metabolism by stimulating the release of the hormone glucagon, which helps to balance blood sugar and stimulate the necessary enzymes for fat burning.

It's FRIDAY! May 12th 2006

It's Friday!!!! Today the scales said 228lbs. Yesterday was a rough day! Today I feel a little under the weather, but nothing like yesterday! I'm easing my way into the day, but I will get to work, and have a somewhat normal day!

Today's internal conversation is what to bring for lunch. We are low on groceries. I'm thinking of making a one egg omelet and taking that to work and warm it up. Or maybe I'll just stick to fruit and nuts! I'm feeling kind of light headed with my body still not happy with yesterday's digestive issues.

I am glad it's Friday! Too bad its another rainy day. I may go bowling tonight - that's some exercise!

I pasted an article below that I found at:

http://www.aarpmagazine.org/food/

Here is the article:

Hunger is the wolf at the door, the body saboteur, the diet killer. No matter what kind of diet you're on—whether low-fat, high-protein, low-carb, or something in between—this single enemy can quickly undo weeks or months of discipline. That's because the body is designed to consume calories, not resist them. But help is on the way, thanks to the latest nutrition science. The following 19 tactics will tame the hunger beast. Mix and match them and you'll be on the road to skinny. Bon, er, bad appétit!

In the Morning
1. Rise and DineNever miss breakfast; waiting till noon for your first meal can turn hunger pangs into irresistible cravings. Seventy-eight percent of 2,959 people in the National Weight Control Registry (a list of adults who've maintained a 30-pound weight loss for at least one year) regularly eat a morning meal.

2. If It Ain't Yolk, Don't Fix ItEating eggs in the morning can help you fight flab. In a study at Wayne State University, test subjects were fed either a bagel or an egg breakfast, each containing the same number of calories. The egg eaters consumed almost 300 fewer calories by day's end than did the bagel bunch. The protein in the eggs likely kept them full longer, says Barbara Rolls, Ph.D., professor of nutritional sciences at Penn State University and author of The Volumetrics Eating Plan (HarperCollins, 2005). To cut down on saturated fat, mix in two servings of Egg Beaters with one regular egg, she advises.

3. Drench Your ThirstGerman researchers found that people who drank 17 ounces of water boosted their resting calorie-burning rate by about 30 percent for 90 minutes. Why? Partly because your body burns extra calories to heat the water to body temperature. More is better: drinking eight 8-ounce glasses of ice water daily can zap an extra 70 calories (and save you lots more if you're replacing sweetened juice or beer).

4. Get Thick, Stay ThinIn a study, subjects who drank a shake pumped with extra air ate less at a meal hours later than did those who drank smaller-looking shakes, even though both contained the same calories. "Basically you can trick your system by making food look bigger," says Rolls. Try making a fruit smoothie by blending a handful of strawberries and blueberries together with half a cup of low-fat milk. You can also add six ice cubes to increase the volume without adding calories. Another pumped-up trick: add fat-free yogurt to a shake to make it thick and frothy.

5. Milk Calcium for All It's WorthHave milk or yogurt in the morning with your breakfast and then enjoy another dairy food at lunch. (Option: take a 600 mg daily calcium supplement.) A Purdue University study found that women who consumed 1,000 mg of calcium per day from dairy products gained no body fat over a two-year period. Another group of women with lower daily calcium intakes saw their body fat creep up. Something in this vital mineral seems to cause the body to burn more calories, says Rolls. Make sure you're getting about 1,200 mg of calcium each day (more isn't necessary). In addition to dairy products, spinach, broccoli, and calcium-fortified orange juice can be good sources.

In the Afternoon
6. Eat Déjà FoodEating the same healthy, balanced meal every day (such as a grilled chicken breast) can help prevent overeating. Too much variety in meals can lead you to keep eating to experience the taste, not to satisfy the hunger, says Hollie Raynor, Ph.D., of Brown University's Weight Control and Diabetes Research Center.

7. Wet Your AppetiteFoods with high water content fill you up easily. And they naturally pack fewer calories for their volume, says Rolls. Toss together a salad of lettuce, cucumbers, celery, and tomatoes. Or a fruit cup with watermelon, strawberries, and orange slices.

8. Buy a Pure BreadSkip those boring white slices. Fixing your sandwich on bread made with flaxseed may help keep you slim by lowering your blood sugar levels, and it may also lower your cholesterol, according to some studies.

9. Find Joy in AlmondsPeckish before dinner? Eat a handful of almonds to ward off hunger between meals. In a study in the International Journal of Obesity, dieters who ate almonds every day lost 18 percent of weight and body mass index compared with 11 percent in the nutless group—even though they were consuming the same number of daily calories. Almonds are high in protein, fiber, and monounsaturated fat, so they keep you full. Just don't get carried away; an ounce has only about 160 calories, but eating substantially more will certainly expand your waistline.

10. Use Stalling TacticsWhen a late-afternoon food craving hits, grab a magazine, take a walk, or surf the Net—any little distraction that will temporarily take your mind off your craving will do the job. "Hunger goes away if you can get through it for 15 or 20 minutes," says Raynor. Just get through that danger zone, and you may entirely forget about the craving.

11. Test a Model TeaA small Swiss study found that people who took green-tea-extract supplements (consuming about the amount found in an eight-ounce cup) three times daily burned 4 percent more calories over 24 hours—which could add up to losing a few pounds in a year. Researchers believe nutrients called catechins may speed fat burning.

The Early Evening
12. Get a P.B. ShotSpread a tablespoon of peanut butter on whole wheat bread, a cracker, or a celery stick. Not only is peanut butter filling, but a study of 83,818 nurses by the Harvard School of Public Health found that women who ate peanut butter or nuts five times or more a week were much less likely to develop type 2 diabetes, an obesity-related disease.

13. Forget the Seconds ComingAt dinner serve your portions, then immediately put the extra food in the refrigerator or freezer before you sit down to eat, advises Raynor. Making it just a little harder to get second helpings can really curb overeating.

14. Don't Skip the SpudsEating a few boiled potatoes will keep you fuller longer after dinner than just about any other food, according to a study conducted by Susanna Holt, Ph.D., of the University of Sydney in Australia. The high water content and bulk of boiled potatoes make this low-calorie carb source very filling.

15. Fight Fat With FireCapsaicin, the hot substance in peppers, may help burn fat and curb hunger, according to studies. Plus, hot peppers can add flavor without fat.

16. Eat Pudding, Lose PaddingBuy a six-pack of low-fat pudding in the dairy aisle. This sweet dessert treat is low in calories but water-rich, so it's filling. Plus, the individually packaged servings are a weight-loss boon. "People tend to underestimate how much they're eating, but portion-controlled food keeps you honest," says Raynor.

Late Night
17. Pinpoint Your Sin FoodsIf you simply must have some junk food in the house, go ahead. But choose only one. In a study of 202 overweight people, those who kept fewer varieties of high-fat snacks handy lost more weight over an 18-month period than did their variety-snacking peers.

18. Still Awake? Eat FlakesPeople who ate cereal 90 minutes after dinner consumed 225 fewer calories for the rest of the night than those who didn't, according to a Wayne State University study. The cereal eaters also lost two pounds in a month without intentional dieting. Best choice: high-fiber cereal. "It moves more slowly through the digestive tract," says Rolls.

19. You Snooze, You LoseSlumber is slimming; a recent study found that people who slept only five hours nightly were 50 percent more likely to be obese than those who slept seven to nine. Researchers believe that lack of sleep affects hormones related to appetite, causing you to gain pounds

May 11th Part 2

Well, I'm still having a great time running up and down the stairs to the bathroom so I thought I'd continue on with my blog today.

More history - I talked last time how I started gaining weight around age 8. One of the catalysts for my weight gain was my knees. What I didn't know then, and I do know now, is that my hips/knees are not the same as everybody else's (I have to be unique!) Unique is good and makes one a bit more creative!!

Most woman's hip angle is around 12-13 degrees. My hip angle is over 22 degrees (figure that will come in handy when I go to birth children). That turned my legs outward (so I walk like a duck). My knees and all the muscles/tendons around them are not centered. In addition, my knee caps themselves are smaller then normal. I've had 3 surgeries, many orthotics and a couple of braces over the years. Arthritis has shown up in one knee. I was told eventually I MAY need a knee replacement. One way to avoid that is to loose weight.

Some "side affects" are that I can't wear high heals - actually I am unable to have any heal on a shoe - they all have to be flats! Now I don't mind that as an adult - but when I was 16 years old it was devastating! I remember trying on high healed shoes in the store with my friends, just a small heal and feeling the pain radiate up my body- couldn't even take one step forward - as a teenager, that meant not fitting in! As an adult, it means I'm always comfortable! (blessing in disguise).

Some other restrictions, I am not physcially designed to do activities such as jumping, going down hill, or down stairwells, no impact exercises, not able to jog or run (though I have my 30 second dash version of running), not able to put on ski's or skates (they are the same as high heal shoes). At times it was frustrating. When I was in public school they had this exercise called the endurance run through participaction. What every points you got in the endurance run, you got the prize. Top Prize Gold, Then Silver, then bronze and at the very bottom you got a participation pin. Due to my design, I could not really run (again I was not fully aware as to why until I was an adult in Toronto and a physio-therapist at Sunny Brooke Hospital sat down and went over my x-rays etc..) so I always got the pin. Once I found a bronze that somebody had dropped on their way home from school - I took it home and told my parents it was mine - but still, it wasn't. The worst part was they gave out these awards in front of the entire school by award level. So every year I'd go up to the front stage with the kindergarten class (including my grade 8 year) to receive my pin. Never fun facing my peers once I got back to my class after that ceremony!

With that said, my first injury was the summer before grade 3 (when I was 7) over that year I started putting on weight. My second injury was in January of Grade 5 (I was 9 almost 10), Third injury was in grade 9, turning quickly in Gym class to the right (another thing, can't turn my body quickly as my knees don't follow through LOL - when I'm dancing with a partner I always lead - I'm protecting my knees) - In Grade 11 I slipped in the bathroom while picking up the bath mat, had my first surgery - and brace - kept the brace on into my thirties (when I lost weight) - Slipped on water at work in grade 12, had my second surgery in grade 13, and my third surgery in my first year of university. On occassion I get temporarily imobolized, I've not had a major injury since 1988, and I've done that by protecting my knees and activities.

No aerobics class, no skating, no skiing, no jogging, no jumping, no tennis (quick moves to right or left sport) for me.

Now again, that doesn't mean I have to sit on my butt all day!
I can walk
I can use most gym equipment
I can swim
I can bowl (I like bowling)
I can dance (my way)
I can swing on a swing
I can slide down a slide

By no means does it stop me from being active - I just need to make choices.

I do see how I used food to get through all the injuries, surgeries, peer pressure.

The best thing for my health I can do is loose weight, so I can keep on walking!

I remember my physiotherapist telling me how much PSI (pressure per square inch) I put on my knees at various weights, and how loosing weight (even 5 pounds) reduces that pressure a lot. I can tell when I hit a critical weight gain as a sharp pain resonates from my arthritis knee like someone stabbed me from the inside. Another motivator to keep on going here!

Namaste
B.

May 11th 2006 - paying the price...

Well it is Thursday and my weight this morning is fluctuating between 228.5 and 229 lbs (the scale goes back and forth each time I step on). Last night Chris and I went out to dinner. We went to a local pub were I choose chicken (kept to the protein only rule). I binged on Chicken. I ate three times the amount of chicken then I needed for dinner. I should have only had about 1/4 of the chicken I ate - but it felt sooo good to be really full! Then, a little while later I started feeling nauseous - I resisted throwing up - but I really really wanted too! This morning I'm paying the price for that decision, for what doesn't go up quickly - goes "down" quickly - really quickly - and Imodium is going to be my friend. I need to stick close to the washroom this morning, which means I'm going to have to call into work and tell them I'll be in later today - on a day where I have appointments booked in the morning that are important.

Not only did I binge eat, I created an issue with my body due to "bad" chicken, I'm also impacting my work too all due to a choice in food. Now logically I can't blame myself for "bad" chicken. It seemed cooked all the way through - it had a hot sauce on it, so I didn't taste anything but the hot sauce. (I eat hot sauce often - so it's not that my digestive system is reacting to the sauce). It could have been chicken that thawed, frozen, thawed and went off before cooking. I was not able to tell.

It is interesting how guilty I feel about the volume of chicken I ate. I kept to my rules, no sugar, no starch, no white flour. I also only had protein for dinner as per my naturopaths' advice. However I did eat more than 500 calories worth of chicken (that's for sure). And I know it's calories in verses calories out. I went for a walk at lunch yesterday (my 4km approx route) - Chris and I then went for a walk last night for another 4km (approx) - I pushed myself to go. I was nauseous, walking, sore and feeling guilty - Why I was sore ??- I'm embarrassed to say that on Monday night the cat was out and we couldn't find him before going to bed. I woke up at 2:38am thinking "go find cat" - I was still half asleep when I attempted to walk downstairs to the front door. Instead I fell down the stairs - bruised my butt, hip, foot and my ego! Chris came out to check on me - I made lots of noise! I then went and got the cat. I was a bit sore yesterday for two walking tours. But I knew it was going to rain for the next 4 days, the guilt of chicken, had me push my body.

Namaste

B.

May 10 2006 weekly picture

Hello All - here is me in my basement this morning at 228.5lbs. (I've got my 178 picture beside me for comparison)

One week down - Lost 5 pounds from last Wednesday (yipee)

I've been thinking about my wardrobe and looking forward to getting into different clothes.

There is a gap in my wardrobe from 218 to 200 where I don't have many clothes to fit me (either too big or too small). It will be great to have that dilemma and work towards the 200 mark where I have a great wardrobe to work from!

Hope you are all having a great day! (going to be a high of 22C today - nice and warm!)

Namaste
B.

Tuesday May 9th 2006

Today's scale - 229lbs. Same as the last two days. This is when I start feeling impatient - I know I'm eating less calories then I burn - I had oatmeal & Blueberries for breakfast; raw veggies, low calorie humus, fruit and 16 almonds for lunch and 1 hamburger patty (no bun) for dinner. Plus I walked 4km at lunch and 5km after dinner.

From yesterday's post I've been thinking about my childhood. The public school I went to in the 1970's was not very friendly amongst the girls. I remember in grade 5 being chased around the playground with the girls chanting "Fatty Fatty two by four, couldn't get through the bathroom door" - we had also read the book "Blubber" by Judy Blum in our class - it was suppose to teach us tolerance - instead the girls in the class took to calling a couple of us "Blubber" instead of our names as we were not thin. In grade 8 we went down to another school for shop and sewing/cooking class. The school was about 3km away (approx). On the way back to our school after cooking class the entire class decided to play a game - hit me on the left side of my arm only - the goal was to take a swing at me, and only hit me on my left side. If I managed to turn the right side of my body towards them they would hold back, as the rules of the game where to hit me on the left side. There were about 30 kids in the class - and 50% participated, 48% watched and cheered and only 2 people were brave enough to ask me if I was okay (Cindy & Emma). When we went to the teacher about it, he told my parents "kids would be kids" - and basically I had to suck it up, bruises and all. - Most of the name calling that went on during this incident were about my weight.

I don't remember what it is like to be thin (age 7) - I've never worn a bikini - and probably never will (have stretch marks now from being larger). I am 38 years old now, and still remember the hurt and pain of those kids. I'm also an adult now. I can see many of those kids where lashing out at me as a target because I was allowing them to. One of the girls that started the "hit on left side" game, her name was Kathy. When my parents asked the school to talk to Kathy's parents, they told them they could not do so as they feared that Kathy would be hurt (physically hit) by her father. This was before the days where calling Children's Aid was mandatory for teachers. They didn't want to interfere in Kathy's life - but they didn't help her either - She must have been so afraid, so alone and lashing her anger out by creating a game to hit me was her release. Many others were going through divorces, one family was doing the "swinging" thing openly their kids, the neighbours, everybody knew about it (could you imagine being their kid - how confusing that was?). It was a very dysfunctional class, especially amongst the girls. The grade behind me did not have the same level of dysfunction - I ended up in a unique dynamics within my peer group.

Still, I know that the name calling, the physcial abuse at school helped me continue with the addiction. You would have thought that calling me names like "blubber" would have encouraged me to loose weight - but it instead encouraged me to stuff my feelings with food - go down to the local corner store and buy out their entire candy shelf with all my allowance, find a corner of the playground where nobody could find me and eat. I'd even go home and eat all the sugar out of the sugar bowl, if I didn't have any allowance left.

As I put the past together - starting from very young, I can see the patterns I am overcoming now. It's in the past - and the story has long played itself out - somehow I have hung onto my coping mechanism - sugar, pastries, breads, carbs - time to let go.

Namaste
B.

Monday May 8th

Well it is another Monday morning - today I weighted 229lbs on my own scale.

Sunday was another good day. Didn't get out for the walk, but I did have a good food day, and only a few moments of cravings - this time just before I went to bed. So I moved upstairs in the bedroom as far as I could get away from the fridge!

I am pleased how fast this first initial weight is coming off. I'm practiced though - I know it will level off eventually. It's not healthy to loose weight too fast - that's when it comes back on again quickly. The body reacts to the fast weight loss by storing energy more efficiently - it takes us back to "cave man" days where we would biologically be without food for a long period of time (time of scarcity) then there would be a time of abundance. Our bodies would learn to conserve energy during time of scarcity (dieting) then put the pounds back on us during time of abundance (one extra carrot!).

I've been through this so many times - "been there, done that" - so I'm ready for the changes, the slow downs. But right now I'm very happy things are getting kicked off to a great start!

As this is an addiction for me - I have to remember that I'm doing a life style change.

It is interesting I"ve been talking with people who have similar feelings around food that I do. Those of us who use food as addiction have similar patterns. As a Child I would tear the house apart looking for food - I would eat anything- bakers chocolate, cookies, bread, crackers - my Mom would hid food from me and I would search every corner of the house until I found it. Even as an adult, if food is "hidden" from me - I will go searching for it - and get upset if I can't find the Halloween candy as I 'Need it now". I've even thrown food into the garbage can - (lets say a chocolate bar) and if the garbage seem clean enough and I can't handle the addictive cravings, I have rummaged through the garbage and retrieved the item to eat. That's how I know it's an addiction - beyond emotional eating.

Others don't have that type of behaviour - and don't really understand that part of addictive eating. I've talked to many emotional eaters (those who eat purely out of their emotions) and it is a different pattern - many of them where thin as children and adolecence - I was not thin as a child - I don't remember "thin" as being "me". The last time I showed up as thin in a picture I was 7 years old (grade 3) - By the end of grade 3 (Spring 1976 - I was 8 years old) I was starting to get "chubby".

Namaste

B.

Sunday May 7th 2006

Well it is Sunday and I survived eating out on Saturday. I weighed in here at my parents at 229lbs - with that said it's a different scale that weighs me lighter (but good for the ego until tomorrow when I go back to my normal scale at home)

We got to here at Lunch time Saturday - with all the temptations around me (home made white bread, home made chocolate chip cookies, cold cut meat, cheese etc..) I managed to eat a banana and some nuts for Lunch- then came dinner - Roast beef dinner at Colin and Vicki's house. I did okay there too sticking to meat and vegetables - only slipped by having pineapple (fruit) at dinner. I'm happy I did well, but it was not without my internal battle raging inside me. First we get there and there is double cream Brie (yummy) - I resisted - later there was ice cream cake from Dairy Queen to celebrate Chris's birthday - and I resisted there too. However if anybody could have got inside my head and heard the dialogue - it was insane! I really really wanted the ice cream cake and Brie. I could just taste it inside me. I knew I couldn't even put my figure in the icing and lick it as that would set the sugar cravings off. Every moment I hold steadfast to my promise to myself (no sugar, no flour, no white starch) my body feels better. I have more energy.

Later that night Chris, Vicki and I went for a walk around her new neighbourhood (they just moved). It felt good to have had a good day - eating right and walking! Success.

Today I got up and had some oatmeal and blueberries here - we will head home soon and I can stick to my food at home for lunch.

The most difficulty part of this week is getting over the cravings - and wanting to "join in" with food that I love, but has not been so kind back to my body!

The best thing I did was announce to the table my rules "no sugar, no flour, no white starch" - helped me resist the potatoes - they were very supportive and even made jokes about how yucky the cake was (good humour to help me through the moment).

Communicating my intentions out loud helped me keep the promises I made for myself.

Each day I have a choice as to what I put in my mouth - nobody forces me to eat something. It's my hand that holds the fork, and my mouth that chews the food.

It seems like it should be easy to just "choose differently" - but I find it a big challenge - the addiction in me is strong - and as I'm 38 years old - the addiction is at least 31 years old and it's a pattern of behaviour that I've repeated millions of times. Stress - eat; Happy - eat; Sad - eat; celebrate - eat. And I LOVE the taste of food - I could just taste the cake in my mouth - melting chocolate, ice cream and icing together - it is orgasmic!

I have to keep in mind the bigger goal - health - I am not dying of a heart attack for a piece of cake and cheese today - life is bigger then that - I'm worth being healthy, I'm worth being alive and energetic enjoying life to a ripe old age. Still.... some moments I wonder it is all worth it - but remembering how I felt at the 178lb picture - I know it is!

Namaste

B.

May 6th - Weekend update

Well it is Saturday and today the scales said 231.5lbs.

Interesting past 24 hours since my last blog. Yesterday was stressful at work - a couple of fires to put out in HR! During the most stressful moment of the day I came across a box of timbits! It was very hard to resist - it was like every nerve ending in my body screamed EAT TIMBITS! (but I didn't!)

Later, when I got home from work Chris and I started brainstorming about exercise equipment. When I wrote the blog yesterday I ended my writing on top of the world, feeling like I could do anything - and that I would make it work - get the exercise equipment at home and start on a path to success now.

Well that's not what happened later in the day with our conversation. First I had to admit that the only space that we could even consider fitting the exercise equipment into the house was in the basement where the fridge is - and that is a large closet like setting which is roughed in for our second bathroom that we hoped to build in the summer of 2007 (we would really like a second bathroom!)

The next obstacle was how to get anything down the stairs? I have a couch in the garage that doesn't fit into the basement as we have no space, but when we tried to get it into the basement when I moved in with Chris we discovered does not it fit down the stairs. When I bought the couch I had to find the smallest pull out couch I could find as my apartment in Toronto had stairs and the management had given us dimensions of what actually fits. Our neighbours on the same street we live in, with a slightly bigger house had difficulties moving a small sized air hockey table into their basement because of how the stairs where built by the builder (we went and helped them fit it in, and the airhockey table was damaged and bent as we forced it into the basement). Then I started to wonder how we are going to get the fridge that the old home owners left behind out of the basement - they left it behind because it's too big to get up the stairs - it may have been put into the basement by rope before the stairs where built! (The people who lived here were part of the construction crew for the neighbourhood).

So now a whole new set of "obstacles" have cropped up. I was getting more and more discouraged. To add insult to injury I looked on the web and started pricing out equipment. With the upcoming wedding 50% of my salary is going into the wedding fund - and the rest goes to bills (Chris pays the mortgage, car insurance and car payments - I pay for the hydro, gas, phone, 407, cable etc... Bills and put money in a joint account for other stuff but normally that extra money would not be one whole paycheque a month). So I had to admit to myself that right now I don't have the finances. By this time I was craving carbs and sugar - I just wanted to eat anything quickly!

We got out of the house, went and picked up wedding invitation labels to start the process of printing them out. We talked about going for a walk when we got back. As we were in Business Depot the weather got cold and damp, the rain clouds creeped in and the outdoor walk was no longer a possibility. Then I got REAL grumpy - because I had the motivation to go into the basement to exercise on equipment that did not exist and wouldn't fit - where it was warm, not raining and easy to do! So I felt totally defeated - completely unmotivated and wondered why the Hell to I even try.

We put on the first season of 24 (rented the DVD's) to watch - and part of the plot is two girls being chased down, kidnapped, hit by cars, people are killed - my adrenaline was rising - and I was feeling desperate inside to eat. I just wanted to eat anything - I was climbing the walls with every part of my body screaming EAT SOMETHING. But I didn't - I went to bed - put the radio on to cover the sound of the TV and did some deep breathing exercising.

One day done - thank god!

But today is a new day. I'm not feeling as optimistic as yesterday. This weekends challenge is Peterborough - going out to dinner to celebrate my parents anniversary and Chris's birthday - and holding back my Mom's kitchen of food!

I am focusing on eating only raw veggies and fruit for lunch with nuts for protein - and have only protein for dinner and veggies for dinner - keep the matra up - no sugar, no flour, no starchy white foods.

I'll let you know how it goes!

Namaste

B.

May 5th 2006 Exersize

Today's weigh in - 232 lbs. I know from everything I read that I am loosing weight this week quickly because I'm loosing water. I've cut salt back, and my body is enjoying the change! This is when physiologically I feel good - because I can see the pounds drop off the scale each day. The next phase is for my body to adjust and that will slow down the scale. That's when I get frustrated! But I know about the mechanics of weight loss - so I'm prepared!

One of my internal dialogues is around exercise. Here is what I know about exercise

1. Calories in minus Calories out - is the equation to loose weight

2. Aerobic exercise where you have an elevated heart beat for 30-60 minutes a day helps burn fat

3. Lifting weights (weight baring exercise) increases ones metabolism and keeps the pounds off and helps the body become an efficient calorie burner.

Great - I have the knowledge - I know the mechanics! My challenge is how to do it!

Here is my first confession - I dislike the gym - and "dislike" is understating it. I've had a gym membership for the past 7 years straight - I go for a while, I get myself a coach to make it an appointment to get to, I look for a buddy to join me - but the honest to god truth is, I find the gym unsatisfying emotionally. It's boring, and to be frank I have yet to figure out how to have "fun" at the gym. It also sucks time from my friends and family, fitting it in to my schedule feels like a chore. Now I still have a gym membership - but I can find every excuse in the world not to go!

My current gym membership is at Good Life fitness. I choose Good Life because they have a location in the Town I work at and the City I live in. Therefore opportunity is there. It takes me one hour and 15 minutes to do a 25 minute work out at the gym over lunch (driving time from work to the gym is 12-15 minutes each way due to traffic). I did a good job of getting to there when my work load was slow. Not so good now that I have a high work load and meetings cutting into my lunch time.

For a while I was doing the gym after work - getting home from the gym at 10:00 at night exhausted. My day went like this... Hear Chris get up at 5:20am - wake up myself at 5:58am - get up get to work - get home 6-7pm - eat - gym - sleep. Repeat.

One more thing to put into the pot... I have a REM sleep disorder - nothing serious - but biologically my body wakes up every 20 minutes during the night. For me to get equivalent to 8 hours sleep - I need to sleep 10 hours. The sleep clinic said I had two options - First take sleeping pills but they are addictive and eventually don't work (So they didn't recommend this option) Second - sleep more! When I look at others around me - I see they fit more into their day by cutting into their sleep time. I've discovered that my biology says "nope, don't think so" to that idea - I end up over tired cranky and down right bitchy with more illnesses! Body says - "you need to sleep" sleep deprevation is not a good choice.

So there are the excuse lines above - the circle in my head... (and I can hear some of you saying stop making excuses)

So lets look at what has worked for me in the past!

1. Walking - I love to walk - Last summer I walked every lunch hour - I can fit walking in at lunch because it doesn't matter if I have a 20 minute lunch or an hour lunch - I can get some sort of walk in. If it is raining/snowy/cold - walk at the mall - if it is sunny walk in the park. I can do this! In the evenings, Chris and I get out for walks too on occasion. And I love walking with him, talking - its good time together. Lately I've been working through an injury from a car accident I had in Dec 2004 that is lingering - but that's getting better with treatment - so my walking will increase as the pain decreases! Every day it feels a bit better, and I feel more active.

2. Home exercise - years ago I had a tred mill - and I wore the thing out - I had no problems jumping onto the tred mill in-between everything - I watched TV on the tred mill - It didn't take travel time to get to. I didn't pay $45 per month for a membership. I didn't have get a locker, change, exercise, shower, change, drive home. I didn't loose time with my family, and I could get to bed by 9:00 - 9:30pm for my sleep disorder. It fit into my life.

Here comes the "excuse" - our house is too small for a tred mill or other piece of equipment - I have no idea where we could actually physically fit one in - but I think I need to investigate how to make it work for me! I also think I'll get one of the Eclypic machines (no idea how to spell that) -as they raise your heart rate, use both your arms and your legs, and can create a bit more resistance.

This leaves the "weight lifting" part - now I do have a set of weights in the garage - I would just need a bench to use. I have a book "body for life" that gives a 20 minute weight routine that I can do. So I do have solutions here! Buy one bench and one piece of arobic equipment and I can fit everything into my schedule and get the sleep I need too.

Now it's working with Chris to get the solutions in place!

B.

May 4, 2006 - update

Well here is my first "picture" update. I stood on the scales this morning and weighed 233.5 lbs.

I took my picture with the digital camera timer (so It's not the best picture composition!)

I've been following some simple rules to keep me going
1. No Sugar
2. No flour
3. No white starches

Yesterday I had Oatmeal with blueberries for breakfast - raw veggies, hummus, almonds, blueberries and grapes for lunch, and meat loaf for dinner.

One of the suggestions that my Naturopath doctor had was to only have protein for dinner. If I did have carbs with dinner, have only vegetables.

Here are some of the other tips my Naturopath gave me: (by the way, if you can find yourself a Naturopath Doctor - do so! Everybody is different - waht works for me, may not work for someone else - A naturopath Doctor can help you look at you!)

• Add 1 tbsp per day ground flax seed
• Green Tea 2-3 cups per day
• Chromium 200mcg 3 times a day
• Don't eat past 7:30pm
• Last meal of the day should have little if any carbs. Carbs cause insulin to be released into the blood stream. Insulin is the fat storage hormone and counteracts the effects of growth hormone. If you do have carbs, try to take them in the form of a vegetable
• Larges meal should be eaten in the morning, and no meal should exceed 500 calories.
• Water drink ½ your body weight (lbs) in water in oz
• Avoid all artificial sweeteners
• Minimize dairy intake
• Deep breathing - Lying on your back, place your left hand on your upper chest and your right hand on your abdomen. Inhale deeply through the nose, while pushing outward with the stomach so the right hand can feel the abdomen rise. Try not to move the left hand while inhaling (breathe in with your stomach muscles, not with your chest). Exhale slowly, pushing the abdomen inward and upward towards the ribs. Once you have mastered this you can do it throughout the day for relaxation. 100 breaths per day.
• Movement - at least 30 minutes a day
• Free writing- set 10 minutes aside to journal - write for 10 minutes without stopping.
• Spend 30 minutes per day reading a self-motivating or changing book
  

Lunch time - craving carbs! - one moment at a time